List Time: In Which I Discuss How Weird Writers Are

I’m not sure how I missed this before, but writers are kind of weird.

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend about some of the strange things we do when we write. It was only then, after a year of college living, that I realized just how weird habits that writers have (or, at least, that I have) are. And in college, these habits are essentially put on display. College provides this bizarre world of cohabitation that is not conducive to secret-keeping. And so, the people who share this campus with me are –ahem – lucky enough to learn my writing habits, even if I don’t want them to.

Which makes it even more obvious that writers can seem weird.

So to start what will be the first of what I'm sure will become many lists on this blog (I like blogs. It's my expression of OCD.), I present…

 Things That Normal Writers Do That Normal People Do Not:

1. Have Conversations With Themselves: We all know that crazy guy with the broken grocery cart and the yellow raincoat tied around his head, the one with the sketchy brown paper bag shaped around a bottle and the only smile that could accurately be described as “crooked.” He talks to himself. But normal people do not. Writers on the other hand, can find talking to themselves very helpful when trying to invent realistic conversation for their characters to have. But unless you want to be “that crazy guy (or girl)” on campus, don’t do this in public.

2. Have Imaginary Friends: This requires a qualifier. Having imaginary friends is totally fine for normal people when they are cute kids and everything they do is cute. But college kids, not so much. Writers, however, always have imaginary friends: their characters. Even when their characters piss them off sometimes; it’s like having children. You’ll always still love them. And no matter what other people say, they do exist.

3. Go To Work In Their Pajamas: This is assuming that we consider writing as our actual work and not our day jobs. I find this to be an excellent thing that we, as writers, are allowed to do that other people are not. The more footsie pajamas, the better.

4. Know All the Warning Signs of a Caffeine Overdose: Granted, there are other professions that require people to depend on caffeine. But I would argue that few require caffeine as much as writers.  And some of the warning signs, in case you are curious, are: getting tired in the early afternoon but being unable to sleep at night, peeing orange, feelings of anxiety, heartburn, nausea, and muscle tremors. Only a true writer would know all of these.

5. Love Their Jobs: Few people are this lucky. Enjoy it.

Know any others? Post a comment to add to the list. : )